


Detective P. Fox

by BarbaBean



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Banter, Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, F/M, Flirting, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Medical, Military, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Singing, Slow Burn, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:35:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25417021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarbaBean/pseuds/BarbaBean
Summary: Poppy Fox joined the US military straight out of school. After training as a soldier first she underwent officer and medical training and was commissioned as a Lieutenant, Nurse.Poppy has served since she was 18 years old across military hospitals and even deployed to combat zones. Now nearly 26, she's transferred out of the full time military and instead works in the reserve. Detective Fox is now commencing full time with Manhattan SVU.Smart, funny, hard-working and ready to learn, she fits in quickly with the crew and harbors a secret fondness for their ADA.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 36





	1. Disclaimer

*DISCLAIMERS*

I'm so excited to be starting this new series and I have so many ideas on where to take it and what to do!

I wanted to start out by making several disclaimers, just to keep everyone on the same page.

I do not own Law and Order SVU or their characters, I make no profit from their work or this work.Some parts of dialogue have been directly taken from the episodes. 

I want to follow the episodes of the series, but I find myself getting really bogged down and bored with pretty much transcribing the episode and slipping in my own character and parts every now and then, so I'm forewarning now that a lot of my future writing won't include the entire episode plot depicted on-screen. I'll work to try to make sure its not confusing and the time line is clear.

There will be mentions of medical procedures and the military lifestyle. Everything I write is fiction and whilst I try to make it realistic I make no claim it is the correct procedure to follow and this is not advice on how to handle any such situation. 

I love feedback and comments so please let them flow, they are my inspiration. Constructive criticism welcome also. 

This is a work in progress and tags and ratings will be updated as I go :)

Thanks, please enjoy and let me know!


	2. Twenty Five Acts -1

Captain Harris sauntered into the bull-pen, clearing his throat to gain the attention of Sergeant Munch and Detectives Tutuola, Amaro, Benson and Rollins. "Looks like we're stuck together a little longer."

"What? the captain was cleared a month ago." Benson interrupted with surprise.

"Of criminal charges" Harris stated, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. "One PP still hasn't declared him fit for duty."

"One PP. Welcome to the puzzle palace." Munch mocked.

"But they said he was coming back?" Benson demanded.

"Far as I know" Harris placated. Moving swiftly on he continued "Meantime, I've been thinking some things over. I'd like to move some pieces around the board, get prepared for our new, wet behind the ears hotshot from the military."

"Fox finally get her transfer through?" Fin asked airily.

"She did and shes starting tomorrow. Benson, you're not shy about sharing your experience" Olivia glared but said nothing "take on the new kid, show her the ropes."  
***  
10:30. They were late.

Barba checked the text the SVU detective had sent him again before he allowed himself to really start working up a temper.

"Bringing Jocelyn in at half ten, there'll be a new detective with me also."

Benson had been terse with him since his "bring your daughters to work day" crack, but a name at least would be nice. Just as he was about to send an equally terse message about her tardiness, he heard a soft knock.

Rafael opened the door and stood aside as Olivia escorted a young woman inside, steering her with gentle pressure to the small of her back. The woman’s eyes were wide and glossy, they flicked wildly around the room and Barba noticed she dropped her head as he passed by him.

Behind them followed another woman, younger yet but with eyes wide and keen. Where Jocelyn’s gaze was all desperate fear and uncertainty, this woman’s was steady and focused. Deep cobalt blue locked onto Barba’s forest green.

‘Counsellor,’ she nodded subtly, her greeting sturdy but withdrawn in respect to the context. She was shorter than Rafael, the tip of her head reaching to level with his nose. She had short cropped hair lighter than his but still dark, like rich chocolate. It was shaved to a one or two - he guessed - around the back and sides and graduated into a thick length on top, but styled neatly into place. The cut appeared to be fresh and was a style Rafael would typically associate as masculine, however it seemed to emphasis the feminine curve to her jaw.

Aside from the keen glint in her eye he’d characterise her expression as straight and professional. It was hard to get a read on her. She was wearing no make-up at all, her brows were triangular and thick yet tidy. She had notably dark eyelashes, an unremarkable nose, a broad cupid’s bow descending into softly pressed lips that Barba would assess as thicker than average.

She wore a simple white, collared button down tucked into straight black trousers. Her shoulders were reasonably broad for a female, and appeared thick and firm beneath her shirt. She had almost all the buttons done up, her shirt clasped to the space between her collar bones, a flash of what appeared to be a silver necklace only just visible where her neck met her shoulder.

Despite her modestly chosen attire, it was clear she had a very fit body beneath. She wore a belt with badge and gun attached, it clinched at her waist to highlight a slimness that wasn’t frail. There was a dense sense of ownership of the space she occupied.

Her hand was startlingly cold and somewhat calloused in his, but her grip was firm and present until it was withdrawn. She stood shoulders back and square gated at his door until he made a sweeping motion into his office. She found a standing position behind Olivia and to her right as he closed the door.

Barba made his way around the desk and sunk into his seat, papers and folders from his earlier review already strewn across the glossy surface. He fixed his gaze on Jocelyn, not too intense or she'd be intimidated, but enough to demonstrate he was giving her his full breadth of attention and authority.

"Did you and Adam Caine have any contact before the show?"

"No, that was the first time we met."

"And after the show he asked you out?"

"Yes, I, I've gone over all this."

Olivia interrupted, trying to mitigate a spat "I'm sorry Jocelyn, but this is all part of the process -" Fox took special note of her tone, matter of fact yet sympathetic. It and its soothing effect was snatched away when Barba cut her off.

"I have to know everything about you, not just you and Caine, your general personal history, everything, because the one thing you decide to leave out, is the one thing the defense is going to use to blow up the case." Barbas tone was almost honeyed as he glared at her, it wasn't lost on the new detective the fact the counselor seemed resigned to the inevitability of the complainant lying about at least some aspects of the crime. It was an important piece of information she stored carefully away.

Barba sat forward, eyes never leaving Jocelyn's, "You may not like me when we're done."

"I don't like you now." Jocelyn deadpanned. Fox fleetingly wondered if most victim interviews were this adversarial, she cast a glance at Benson who was frowning almost as if in disapproval, yet leaning toward the encounter unfolding in front of them.

"Honesty, good!" A small but bright smile flashed across Barbas face and it was then that he glanced at Benson for the first time. Fox wondered if that marked the moment the ADA decided to take the case.

Barba asked Jocelyn several more questions regarding the case and her life. His tone was soft but not shy and he was forthright in his questioning. Olivia had also questioned in this manner, the young detective tried hard to file away the information on tone, technique, body language all for future use. Fox listened intently to the remainder of the interview, hoping to glean as much knowledge as possible from the conduct and questions of her two colleagues.

The interview wrapped up after about a half hour, Jocelyn all but ran out of the room, her handbag not even slung over her shoulder before she hit the door.

"I'll meet you back at the precinct." Fox said to Olivia as she hurried after their victim.

Now it was just the two of them, she decided to introduce herself properly. "I'm Poppy. I'm really looking forward to working with you."

Barba glanced up at her wearing the expression of bored smugness she was already coming to closely associate with the man. He was shuffling paper and snapping folders closed, piling them into boxes as he lulled "Is that so?"

"It is, I've heard you're good." Barba looked at her again, squinting for a hard second. He found her to be earnest instead of obsequious, his smirk grew broader yet as he threw on his jacket.

"Heard huh? Heard anything else about me" he asked arrogance in his tone, his eyes flashing with mirth as he openly teased her.

She met his eye directly, "That you're also a bit of a dick" she said brazenly, an impish smile on her face as she watched him closely. A surprised and delighted laugh burst from his chest and Fox felt a pleasant surge at having provoked the first true smile she'd seen from him.

"And what's the verdict?" he queried, cheeks pink with delight his voice rumbled with laughter.

Fox pulled a slow breath through her nose, passing her tongue over her teeth and crossing her arms she squinted at him, making a show of considering her answer. "There are elements of dickishness about you for sure... but, there's a difference between acting like a dick and actually being one."

He was standing square to her with a small smile tugging at his lips, his full attention was on her and she liked it. He let out a small laugh on a breath "Are you a detective or a politician, that's not an answer." There was a definite air of playfulness but Fox detected the way he was watching her too closely.

"I'm saying the jury's still out, but my gut saayyss..." she drew out the word watching him watch her "...no."

"Well now I'll be able to sleep tonight" he snarked at her, but she caught the way his shoulders seemed to subtly relax. Fox rolled her eyes and picked up one of the boxes and a few of the folders, following his lead out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A link to a visual of Fox's hair  
> https://mobile.alphacoders.com/wallpapers/view/687423/Celebrity-Ruby-Rose-Wallpapers


	3. Twenty Five Acts - 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NB: The timeline for this episode i.e. the days spanning, may be slightly off - as may the weather :O 
> 
> Hit me up with thoughts in the comments!

It was the following morning and Barba was making his way to the precinct early to interview the detectives on all the case findings. His left hand was frozen around the handle of his brief case and his right attached to his second cup of coffee for the morning. He damned his ambition most during these sleep deprived early hours. 

As he bustled along the lonely pavement he noticed through the early morning dim and fog a figure running toward the stairs of the building. It was making good time, and when the person reached the entry way they hit the floor with a speed and agility Barba was sure he never possessed and began pumping out several full depth push ups. With a lack of anything else to focus on he became intrigued with the figure. The closer Barba came the more he was able to make out, the person was small but obviously strong, wearing full length black tights and a large green t-shirt. He realised it was Fox several meters from the stairs, she clearly hadn't noticed him but she jumped up and turned back toward the direction she came from, swaying side to side clearly looking for something through the fog. 

"Fox," Barba called about two meters from the base of the steps. She spun around suddenly, literally bouncing on her toes with energy. Her chest was heaving and there were multiple thick rivulets of sweat running from her hair line down her face and neck. Her skin was white with the cold but her cheeks were flushed bright pink with effort, a smile lit her face the moment she set eyes on him.

"Morning counselor, how are you?" she enthused, sniffing and flicking some sweat from her eye.

"Disgusted by your level of energy at this time in the morning." His tone droll. Fox laughed but again glanced behind her.

"Ah, there he is" she called toward a figure approaching them at a staggered run. She waved and it waved back as it stopped and hunched over a moment. "Amaro and I decided to run in this morning" she explained as she headed toward the door, pushing it open and holding it for him. 

"You beat Amaro" Barba was frowning and his tone almost squeaked with disbelief.

Her gate was slightly wobbly as they headed toward the elevator and she tipped her head sideways at him and glared as she said "I'll try not to take offence at your clear surprise." She hit the up arrow and continued "but full disclosure, he actually had to run a mile to meet me at my building so I had a bit of an advantage."

"Ah, now it makes sense" Barba cheered and offered an exaggerated smile in response to her glare. They stepped into the small elevator and Barba made a point of being the one to hit the floor button before she could. She leaned back against the railing and used the hem of her shirt to wipe away the sweat around her eyes. Barba saw a flash of her abdomen, her clearly outlined abs before he cut his eyes quickly up to her face, which she was still wiping and so blessedly hadn't noticed his stray gaze. Barba fleetingly realised her arms were shaking slightly as they worked. 

In the heat of the elevator some of the colour was beginning to blanch back into her skin. Barba picked up on the heavy scent of sweat mixed with the aroma of freshly mown grass and observed fresh cuttings stuck to her shoes and lower legs. Apparently deciding banishing the sweat from her face was a losing battle, she grunted aloud "Egh, I need a shower."

His eyebrows raised as he said in an offhand manner "looks like you over did it a little."

Her response was immediate, clicking her tongue and lilting "train how you want to fight, counselor." The doors dinged open and he gestured for her to leave ahead of him, which she did and headed directly for the locker rooms.

Barba headed for interview one and began to spread his files and prepare for his briefing. He removed the over coat, wearing a light blue three piece beneath today and delved into the documents, waiting for the detectives to arrive. 

It was about twenty minutes later when the squad began filing in. First Fin who nodded in greeting then took up a seat and scrolled his phone. Soon after Amaro entered, Barba smelled him before he saw him, he would have suspected the younger man had forgone a water shower in favor of a deodorant one but the damp patches on chest and upper back convinced him that wasn't the case. 

Fox entered with Munch, her pale sweaty appearance replaced with a vibrant fresh one. She gave him a smile he still felt was obscenely chipper for the time of morning. Her hair was styled as it had been before and today she wore a fitted black holter top that tucked into smart grey trousers. Her hands were in her pockets but as usual her keen gaze illustrated her demeanor as far from casual. She took up a position leaning against the wall and remained silent throughout the entire meeting, just watching attentively. 

When they were all dragged out to see Caine's broadcast, the surprise written on her face wasn't overt but was certainly more obvious than the rest of the squads.   
"Caine just forced our hand, we have to strike back." Barba commanded, his tone unwavering and a predatory flash in his eye. 

"Lets go" Munch called as he grabbed up his jacket and strode toward the lift. He pointed at Fox as they moved "you're doing the arrest." 

Fox's face lit with eager surprise, almost like a kid at Christmas "Yes Sargeant" she called as she hurried after them.


	4. Twenty Five Acts -3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I just want to re-iterate I make no claims as to the accuracy of medical advice or exams. This is fiction. Please comment, I love to see what people are thinking!!  
> I promise less episode repeating and more original content in the next chapters.

As the case progressed Fox remained quite withdrawn and Rafael rarely spoke with her despite her being present almost every time he visited the station or interviewed Joselyn. 

ADA Barba was in his element, gliding around the court room, eagerly egging Caine down a path he knew would reveal his true nature. He glanced very briefly at the line of SVU detectives filling the gallery and almost huffed a laugh. Staring back at him were the perplexed, almost appalled faces of Benson, Fox, Rollins and Amaro as he slid his belt free of the loops of his trousers.

"You took off your belt, you did it, not her?"

His tongue touched the underside of his upper teeth as he looked at Caine awaiting his answer.

"Correct."

"You looped the belt like this" placing the leather around his neck, his eyes now only for Caine he pushed on and on, getting more and more hooked on anticipation as he proceeded and it showed as his tone dropped and his volume rose, like a leopard crouching in the grass. 

He found himself backed up against the witness stand, his focus dead and narrow on that same path he'd been pushing Caine down, heart thrumming with the thrill of Caines hand on the belt. Over and over he begged Caine to pull the belt, feeling the heat of Cains rising ire as surely as if he was physically stocking it until suddenly the smoke rushed his throat and he was choking.   
Only heated seconds passed before Barba felt his feet plant back on the floor and the relief of cool fresh air in his throat, he was vaguely aware of the cacophony of the gavel banging and the booming voice of Judge Maskin over the sounds of his squelching gasps.

Coughing and straightening his tie he headed for his desk, he was briefly distracted by the sight of Detective Fox standing and gripping the back of the pew in front of her as if she were about to mount it. Amanda was pulling her back down as Barba swiveled toward the Jury with the final blow of the image of Jocelyn's throat. 

Minutes later Barba swooped back into his office, victory in his step, he wasn't half way across the room before he heard the distinct sound of his door being enthusiastically thrown open and ricocheting of the wall with a dull thud. He turned to see Amanda and behind her Fox advancing with all the subtlety of a child told not to run next to the swimming pool. 

"Nice one Councellor-"

"Could you breathe at all" Fox interrupted, cutting a path directly to Barbas position with a speed that caused him to stumble backwards.

"I beg your-" his voice rose with incredulity as Fox continued barreling toward him.

"Sit down" her hand darted out to deliver a short, sharp shove at Barbas shoulder causing him to trip backward and perch on the edge of his desk. His mouth opened again in sheer disbelief and out-rage but before he could make a sound Fox had her hand on his throat. "Stop talking. Severe enough trauma to the neck can cause a delayed inflammatory response, in which case your throat swells closed and you asphyxiate. I'm just going to see if I can feel..." Her other hand had found its way to his neck and she firmly felt the line of his throat and then his c-spine as she spoke.

By the time Barba had adjusted enough to Fox's invasion to be able to push her off, she threw him off balance again, taking a step back "look at me." She commanded. He obeyed automatically as she peered deeply into his eyes, squinting and flitting back and forth before she rose. "There doesn't seem to be significant damage, but you should have a high index of suspicion should you notice any difficulty breathing or any lightheaded feeling that you airway or vasculature are compromised."

"Do I look like an idiot to you?" His voice - finally- was low but his sarcasm rang clear. He fixed Fox to the spot with his stare. It was unusual to get this much interaction with SVUs newest detective, usually she observed passively from behind, so the ADA was thoroughly surprised when instead of shrinking away from his cold gaze, Foxs chest seemed to puff and her presence in the space almost seemed to surge as she stared right back.

"Well, you did just beg to be strangled with a belt by a violent offender, so you tell me, counselor." 

"And that's whats going to win us this case." He spat, not even stopping to breathe before he continued "Listen, Detective, you've been here all of five minutes and you think-"

"OKAY!" Amanda interceded "Fox and I are needed back at the station." She tugged Foxs arm, pulling her toward the exit "we'll keep in touch" she called before Barbas office door slammed in his face leaving him wondering what the hell had just happened.


	5. Twenty Five Acts -4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter completely breaks away from anything we saw in the episode! This is much more the style I was trying for earlier and hope to be able to continue. Please comment and let me know what you think!

The sun had been sleeping several hours by the time Barba finished pushing paper. The harsh orange glow of the room contrasted starkly to the unusually sullen night as Rafael puttered about his desk, darting pens into their cup, dropping files into draws and slotting books into shelves. He was just closing his blinds when he heard a soft rapping on the frame of his open door. 

He turned, the sleeves of his light blue shirt rolled neatly to the elbow and the light glinted off the thick strap of his watch. Detective Fox stood carefully behind the boarder of his office, her eyes trained on his form. Silent seconds passed, and when it became clear Rafael was not going to invite her in, she wet her lips at the door. "I own you an apology." She stated simply over the distance. Her gaze was wide and guileless, her face somehow both open and impassive.

"I have little interest in apologies." His voice was silky and his manner off hand as he rolled down his sleeves and glanced back at his desk for anything he may have missed. He was surprised when he heard her voice again, still from his door frame. 

"A drink, then." Her face was unchanged, but he noted something careful behind her gaze. 

His head tipped. "That, I have an interest in."

She waited for him at the door and was his silent companion all the way from his office, down the elevator and along the side walk. She followed his lead, easily able to pace with him despite his longer stride. She was wearing black jeans today and a maroon skivvie that reached her elbows and tucked into a belt lacking both badge and gun. Her tapered waist flowed into the curve of her hip, drawing Rafaels eye to her rounded ass. He averted his gaze, chastising his fatigued - and yes, sex deprived- mind. Thank god it was Friday.

They arrived at one of Rafaels regular haunts, walking distance but far enough away he didn't often run into people he knew and it was quiet enough he could work when necessary. The Bar was circular but sat toward the back of the room, allowing for a few tables to sit behind it. The rest of the place was pretty stock standard; booths lining the walls, tables and pool tables in the center, a dart board down the far end. The lighting was dimmed to a warm glow and there was a background rumble of conversation over the tinkering of glasses. 

The bar stools were mostly empty, Barba approached the most immediate seats, but before he could sit Fox broke their silence. "These ones." Was all she said as she made a bee line to the section opposite the door, glancing around herself before sitting.

Perplexed Barba followed and sat silently, throwing her a sideways look. He noticed her jaw clench slightly and her eyes flicked to the door then back to his. "I feel more comfortable being able to see the door." Her tone was an attempt at control but it seeped consternation and Rafael let it drop. 

"You don't strike me as a beer-man" her eyes narrowed and something tugged at the corners of her mouth, this was more the Fox Barba remembered calling him a dick in his office. 

"Scotch." He said, and it felt fitting that that was the first thing he'd said since leaving his office. 

Her eye brows popped "How do you feel about Jameson?"

"Not usually my whiskey of choice, but then again I haven't really explored Irish whiskey much."

Fox caught the barman's, Kurt, eye and ordered two with ice, her hands fell to rest atop the bar, drawing Rafaels attention to a think, black metallic band around her left writs. Fox continued to honor their silence until they had both taken their first sip, she swallowed and her face twisted, "Never could get used to drinking it straight though." Her eyes were watery as she signaled the barman, he smirked as he topped her up with ginger ale and winked at her congested "Thanks boss."

Barba was the first to finish and signaled Kurt for another two, which he quickly furbished. Rafael was in the midst of admiring the impressive collection of spirits behind the bar when her voice broke into his musings. 

"I was out of line, earlier. I'm sorry." 

He glanced at her from the corner of his eye and found that she had swiveled to face him more fully and again here eyes were somehow both earnest yet calculating. She peered into his eyes as he watched her, attempting himself to quantify this strange quality she presented. His gut feeling was surprisingly and overwhelmingly to trust her, unusual for someone he barely knew, but that inexplicable look she gave made something snag in his brain. 

As his appraisal stretch on she filled the silence. "I'm still trying to re-wire my brain." Her eyes again swayed to the door and then down to her glass, her forearms still rested across the bar face and she hunched over slightly as she traced the rim of her glass. "My whole adult life I've been conditioned to respond, most especially in situations like that... it's hard to re-wire how my brain responds in dangerous situations."

Her words were measured and she glanced up at him from her position, eyes again assessing. Her finger tapped minutely against the glass before she took a breath and sighed. Her hands swiped over her eyes and down her face before she sat up and looked at him squarely again. "I'm not trying to excuse what happened, I just wanted you to know I'm not in the habit of sort of assaulting my sort of boss... and that I feel bad about it."

This time when she looked at him he found no edge to her gaze, no calculation, no carefully withheld information. He placed his glass back on the bar, drawing her eye there before he spoke. "Consider yourself forgiven for _sort of_ assaulting your _actual_ boss." His lips quirked as he offered his hand, she took it rapidly and he relived the stark coolness of her hand. He held it a minute so she met his eye, "now stop feeling bad and start drinking. You're making me look like an alcoholic." He released her as he signaled for a third, she took a long pull to finish her first then started sipping her second.

  
"I know nothing about you." Fox stated, the tension in her shoulders absent as she reclined back to look at him.

  
"I know nothing about you." He countered. 

  
She held up a finger a grin half way to her face as she pinned him with her gaze. "You know more about me than I do about you, and I asked first." She stated with all the finality and authority of a child invoking the age old rule. 

  
Fuck it, Rafael thought, its the end of another brain bleating week and he was game to banter. "Actually, you made the _statement_ 'I know nothing about you." A smile played at his lips "now I know Defence doesn't place a great emphasis on language skills, but I'd at least hope an officer would be able to identify the difference between a question and a statement." He made a show of his smirk, her over exaggerated eye roll and sigh at his teasing and deliberate demonstration that yes, he did know more about her than she him, fed into his buzz. 

  
She lolled her head around before pinning him with her gaze. "Do you have any siblings." She asked. 

  
"That's an unexpected first question, I'll give you that."

  
"I betting you're either the eldest or an only child." She squinted at him as she sipped her drink. 

  
"What makes you think that." He hit her right back, eyes also narrowed.

  
"Answer my question, Mr Barba, and I'll answer yours." She crossed her legs and sat back again.

  
He allowed a pause, pretended to consider whether or not to answer before providing, "I'm an only child."

  
"Knew it." She smacked the bar with her palm.

  
Barba rolled his eyes, " It's a reasonably safe guess, eldest or only, there aren't realistically _thaaat_ many more options."

  
Fox was already shaking her head and gesturing with the hand that rested beside her drink. "Nup, its a sense. Its a true and tested sense. As a younger sibling myself, I can pick you guys out of a line up."

  
Rafael scoffed and shook his head. "So you have an older sibling. Big deal that I couldn't _sense_ " he stressed the word "what I could find out about you in one conversation."

  
Her mouth popped open and her eyes lit up "Ah, however, I am also, an older sibling. See you couldn't sense that either. Honestly I pity you."

  
He again shook his head but his smile remained "I pity your elder sibling for having to put up with you and your ridiculous claims. So are they sisters or brothers or both?"

  
"See... I won that question, which means I get to ask the next one. Not you." She scrunched her nose and sucked her teeth, gesturing like she was genuinely sorry that this 'rule' existed. Rafael barked out an incredulous laugh, but surrendered to her absurd reasoning. 

  
"If you weren't a lawyer, what would you be?"

  
"School teacher." His immediate reply.

  
"That was fast. Do you have the patience for that?"

  
He bobbed his head side to side as he considered that point. "If I had the more relaxed lifestyle that came with it, absolutely."

  
"So why a school teacher?"

  
"Setting aside the fact that I believe I may have 'won' that question" Poppy rolled her eyes, "A lot of kids I went to school with really struggled to learn English and it made a lot of aspects of their life harder. I'd go back to El Barrio and help teach kids language." He took a sip of his drink and quietly patted himself on the back for such a rapid and genuine response despite not having actively ever thought about it before himself. Interesting. 

  
On Fox's part she just looked a little confused, Rafael got the sense she was convincing herself to ask a question she felt was stupid. "So, you're bi-lingual?" He nodded. "I didn't know that."

  
"Sí, mi lengua materna es el español, pero realmente solo lo hablo con mi mami y mi abuela." That special quality to her eyes returned as they flicked from his eyes to his mouth and back. She swallowed and turned slightly back toward the bar for a sip.

"Well I have no idea what was said beyond "Yes."

  
He laughed again "A veces es divertido decirle cosas a la gente y ellos no tienen ni idea de lo que les estás diciendo directamente a la cara." She gripped her glass and he was sure he saw her breathing change, her strange behavior was certainly not lost of the ADA, but he took pity and repeated; "Yes, my mother tongue is Spanish, but I really only speak it with my mother and grandmother, and, sometimes its fun to say things to people when they have no idea what you're saying right to their face."

  
"Well that last part sounds a little psychopathic, to be honest." She mused and he laughed around a mouthful of whiskey.

He swallowed, placing his glass down and looking at her deliberately he rumbled "nothing like that. Only in... certain contexts."

  
He delighted in watching her face flush, she picked up her third drink and took two long sips, evening their drinking score. He refrained from teasing further, choosing instead to change the subject. "So, sisters or brothers, or both?" 

  
She sat back again in her chair, "I'm the middle of three daughters. My older sister Lily is 29 and my younger sister-"

  
"-Wait, let me guess" He interrupted. He narrowed his eyes at her in mock intensity "Daffodil." Fox pursed her lips and mock glared however he continued; "Tulip?, Hyacinth?"

  
"Are you finished mocking my family." Fox deadpanned.

Rafael splayed his hands placatingly "okay, okay, but my serious guess is either Rose or Lavender." He peered at her seriously.

  
"...Aster." Poppy grudgingly admitted, her companion made a series of gestures that seemed to simultaneously indicate 'I knew it' and 'so close' at the same time. 

  
"And so you joined the Army because you're the Poppy flower." He prodded, almost bouncing on his seat, cheeky grin in full force. 

  
Fox picked up her glass with her thumb and third finger, reclining back against the bar on an elbow, she faked nonchalance "Listen Counselor, I am trained in how to use deadly force."

He chuckled and finished his drink as she did, gesturing for another.

  
"Okay, tell you what, I buy the next round and you promise not to kill me." He bounced his eyebrows playfully at her, feeling a lot more loose than usual after only three.

She continued to scour at him and bargained "and you stop with the name jokes."

  
"For tonight" he negotiated "deal." and he shook her hand again, unsure of what was suddenly causing him to be so friendly. 

  
"Aster is 23. You've probably met them both actually." She said off hand, drinking more freely now.

  
"What makes you say that?" He ran his tongue over his teeth between sips.

  
"Lily's a musician. She does mostly weddings and special birthdays or formal events, but she's also hired by a lot of local bars and restaurants. She's got the voice but also can play pretty much anything reasonably well and specializes in piano and any kind of string instrument. She's a bit taller than me, with dark brow shoulder length hair and freckles."

  
Rafael shook his head, "Not that I recall. So what can you play?"

  
Poppy shook her head "My parents spent a lot of money on music lessons for me, but I just never found the passion and a lot of it fell away. I'm okay with a piano if I warm into it and I remember some bass..." she shrugged. "And Aster, have you ever been to 'The Fox and Hound'?"

  
"Bakery by day, Bar by night?" His brow furrowed.

  
"Yes!" Poppy enthused.

  
"I haven't been yet, I think its only new? But I've heard good things. Aster works there?" Poppy seemed relieved.

  
"It is relatively new. She owns it, with her 'friend' Georgia. Georgia's last name is Doge-"

  
"- hence the name."

  
"-exactly. It's doing well so far. The slogan is a little misleading, they're separate rooms, the bakery in front, kitchen in the middle and the bar on the flip side. It's largely family run so if you go there you're bound to run into me at some stage." She sipped.

  
"I'll have to try it." He sipped. "What did you mean by 'friend'?"

  
"Ohh I suspect its a little more than that, but G comes from a very religious family. I'm not sure, its a story for another time at least. But definitely try it, bring your lawyer friends. Its quite close to the court house actually... maybe we should do some kind of special promo or someth..." she trailed off mumbling as she pulled out her phone and rapidly typed in the notes. Satisfied with what ever she had hurriedly scrawled, she closed the app. "Shit... its nine thirty already." She glanced back up at him and threw him a smile "time flies eh. I'm sorry, I have to go. Chilly is going to be so upset with me." She stood quickly and pocketed her phone, handing over her card to Kurt. Rafael had little time to object and she dismissed him quickly anyway. "You can next time." She slipped her card back into her pocket.

  
Barba stood as well. "Sorry to rush off" She stated, patting her pockets and rechecking the counter top "I'll be fine you stay and keep drinking."

  
"I've had enough anyway, and Mi abuela me mataría si no te veo afuera." He smirked at her glare.

  
"I got 'my grandmother' out of that."

  
"Very good" he enthused. "I'll have you fluent before long." They exited the bar and she hailed the approaching cab. He was standing beside her and she looked directly up and into his eye, devilish smirk dancing just at the corners of her mouth and in her eye.

  
"Mm but then you won't be able to say things I don't understand 'in certain contexts." She opened the door and stepped into the cab, rejoicing in the shocked smirk on his face. "Goodnight, Counselor."

  
"Goodnight, Miss Fox." He rumbled. Rafael stood for a minute to watch the car recede into the distance, wondering, who the hell was Chilly?. 


	6. Criminal Hatred - 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, just wishing to re-iterate this is fiction and the medical procedures/ statements in this fic may not be the advised treatment protocol.  
> Let me know what you think of Detective Fox!

Months passed and with them came the revolving door of victims, abusers, rapists, survivors. Cragen had been reinstated and Fox had really begun to settle into the team, surprising the captain with how much she had learned and how quickly.

It was the afternoon for the verdict to be read in the Jeremy Jones case, the violent rapist and murderer targeting closeted gay men. The verdict was delivered, Efron gained bail, Barba gave the nod to re-arrest the man and Olivia and Rollins smacked the cuffs on.

"You back stabbing bitch!" Jones screamed in her face, throttling his body into her much smaller, unsuspecting frame. Minonna tumbled heavily, crashing bodily into the wooden railings separating the gallery from the rest of the court. The sickening sound of splintering wood slapped around the room over the chaos of Jones's abuse as he wrestled against the bailiffs. As Jeremy was torn from the room, Minonna laid stiff and still among scattered debris on the cold court room floor.

Barbas breath was trapped in his lungs, but he smelled it before he saw it. The dense stench of salt and iron curled around his nostrils as a bright red pool began rapidly seeping from her. He dry heaved suddenly and violently, sound seemed to echo strangely behind the overwhelming ringing of static in his ears. He watched as, in slow motion, Detective fox shoved the foremost court pew away from the body and dropped to her knees at Minonna's head. Rafael heard the cacophony of voices and clattering of wood distantly as he focused on the sweeping motions of the young medics hands travelling firmly around and down the lawyers head and neck, across her chest and abdomen, up into her armpits and down her arms. With practiced hands Fox heaved Efron onto her side, raking her fingers down her back, over her posterior and down her thigh until she located the source of the hemorrhage.

Rafael's mind was beginning to whir back into gear as Poppy rolled Efron rapidly back onto her back, forcing her knee into the juncture of the woman's hip and thigh. Minonna jerked and howled at the pressure but Rafael's attention was fixed on Fox's blood stained hand as she beckoned him over. Her mouth was moving but it sounded as though he were underwater as he stumbled toward her. There was a large gash angling diagonally up Efron's outer thigh and from it bright red blood spurted, instinctively Rafael unbuckled his belt and whipped it from its loops. The leather was stolen from his hand the second it was free and in a flash Poppy had thrown the buckle over Minonna's thigh, drawn the tail end under and fed it back through the metal clasp pulling it tightly against her leg. The flow lessened but gurgled and continued to pump out blood at an alarming rate.

The scarlet out-pour consumed his focus and he felt himself pulled roughly to the ground. "Put your knee here!" Fox's words, clear and forceful, the first shard of clarity to penetrate his daze. Rafael swung his knee over Minonna's leg, dropping his weight high and heavy on her thigh. "Pull this tight" she shoved the belt into his hands and forced them back until she was sure he had taken the tension. He felt her skim past his back as she dove behind him, swinging around to grip the circumference of Efron's thigh as firmly and completely as she could, rising up to center her weight over her arms and onto the leg. Minonna howled again and Fox's head whipped up, unconsciously she puffed at the lock of hair that dangled by her eye as she called "you'll be alright counselor, we've stemmed the bleeding." Her pace was practiced but Barba detected the strain in her tone. "Liv, you've called the bus?"

When Olivia had placed Efron's head in her lap Barba did not know, but there she stooped with him and Fox, heads crowded together. "They'll be here any minute." Benson replied, her finger stroking hair from poor Minonna's face. As if on cue, the EMT's burst into the room and scrambled over to the trio, quickly affixing additional tourniquets and tightly binding the gash as Fox fired off information. One of the EMT's gently brushed Barba to the side, removing the now redundant belt and casting it away.

The team had Efron bandaged, packaged away and secured to a stretcher in remarkable time, as it bustled swiftly out the door. Rafael found himself standing, his pant legs wet and warm where they clung to his knees. A quick survey of the room revealed the civilians had been evacuated and only a few court officers, the judge, Barba, Benson, Rollins, and Fox remained. He picked up his belt because he didn't know what else to do. It was warm and tacky in his grip.

"We should wash this off." Fox was looking at him. Rafael nodded, his disjointed thoughts grateful for a task to focus on. His legs felt as though he'd just gotten off of a treadmill, he floated above them as they moved automatically. Dumping his belt on the prosecution desk, he led the way out the side doors and to the rest room across the hall. The blue tiles twinkled in the subdued lighting, he shucked his blazer as he headed for the hook on the back wall. Fox entered behind him, preoccupied for a moment with the way his nimble fingers quickly rolled the sleeves of his striped lavender shirt.

His forearms flexed as he began scrubbing his hands and wrists silently. In the mirror she saw a woman with mussed hair, a blood spatter across a starched white shirt, scarlet dipped sleeves and striped arms and blood soaked hands. She rolled her own sleeves, started the tap and watched the water run red down the drain. "It'll come out you know. I mean, I'm assuming you use a dry cleaner anyway, but the belt-"

"The belt is done." His voice was gruff, quiet.

"... I get that, but it's a leather belt. I'll clean it for you-"

"If you want it take it. Otherwise its trash." His words were forced as he snatched his blazer from its hook, stealing quickly from the room without another word. Fox finished washing her hands silently, patted them dry and quietly left the bathroom. The court was empty when she returned, the broken wood now swept into a pile, paper towel layered over the place Minonna fell. Before Fox left the room, she walked over to the prosecution desk to retrieve an abandoned belt.


	7. Criminal Hatred - 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, quite a bit of medical talk in this one, hopefully it's not too dense! As always, I re-iterate I'm not claiming everything is 100% accurate and I certainly am not advising anyone follow the medical advise in this. It's fiction!   
> Always love comments/ kudos! Let me know what you think :)

It was a week after the Jones incident and today's Tuesday was just as mundane as the hundred that had come before it. 

  
Minonna had lost blood and undergone emergency surgery, but she was okay. She _was_ okay, and if Barba had to tell himself that every time his gaze caught on the wooden partitions in the courts, every time a defendant raised their voice, every damn time he so much as _glimpsed_ someones belt, that was okay too. 

  
He'd had sporadic contact with the SVU detectives. A few messages regarding active cases, and a few less asking how he was (which he had ignored all of.) Olivia had studiously avoided the subject with him all together, he didn't realize how much he appreciated that unspoken pact until she broke it.

  
"We're doing a refresher on first aid at the station this Friday afternoon and drinks after. The former is compulsory if you want to be included in the latter. Please come, I think it'll be good for _everyone_ after what happened."

  
He dropped his Blackberry to his desk, dismissing it almost without a second thought. The idea of dredging what happened back up in the thinly veiled guise of a random medical refresher was nauseating, but knowing he was actively running away - actively being a coward - nagged at him. At first it was something he could ignore, a quiet buzzing sound floating somewhere around his head, but the longer it buzzed the greater hold it had and before long it was an unmuzzled mongrel chomping down his ear. 

He _needed_ to stop over thinking things. He needed to _relax_. He needed to get a psych. 

He needed to go to this damn, accursed first aid farce. 

He didn't reply because stubbornness was a virtue, but on Friday, as the 16th precincts clock struck five thirty pm, ADA Barba stepped off the lift. 

The bullpen was empty but for Nick, striding across the floor, jacket-less with his shirt sleeves rolled. "Counselor" he enthused, his perky attitude irritating Barba just that touch more. "You're right on time, they're all down at the gym." As Nick scooped up his phone, Barbas brow furrowed but he refrained from comment and instead followed the detective through the warren-esk concrete corridors of the police basement until they found the mouth of a reasonably large room, reeking of sweat and plastic, blinding in its fluorescent white light. 

The room rumbled with conversation too dense to have originated from the few detectives of the SVU. Upon entering the counselor discovered the presence of approximately 20 people, various faces he recognized as detectives from other units, fewer he matched to constables he'd seen around the station. Rafael felt some tension leave his shoulders, they all chatted casually, arranged in a lazy U shape, he saw Olivia, Rollins and Fin and made his way over to join them.

In the center of all this, Detective Fox, dressed in black dress trousers and a navy blue collared long sleeve shirt. The curve in her slim figure highlighted by the belt clinched high on her hip bones, the strap was thick and, Barba squinted, the tail wrapped almost the whole way back to the buckle. 

A man's belt.

His belt. 

She was having what looked to be a very stimulating conversation with a young man, dark skin, a fade, clean shaven and literally bulging with strength. Barba couldn't hear what they were talking about, but she appeared to be retelling a story of some sort. Her volume rose as she dropped her tone, the classic imitation of the male idiot and crossed her eyes, "Yeah, no worries Sarge, the safety's oonnn" Poppy mimed swinging a rifle carelessly to the ground and suddenly began hopping on one leg, eyes still crossed. The man burst out laughing, placing his hand on her shoulder as he began regaling her with something else inaudible to Barba. 

  
By Poppy's feet lay the classic resus-Anne torso and beside that a series of bandages and air-way tubes. There was a dull clang as the gym doors closed that echoed around the concrete enclosure. Poppy clapped muscle man on the arm as he made his way back into the crowd before raising her voice to address the congregation. 

  
"Alrighty, the sooner we start the sooner we're in the pub sinking beers so lets get this show on the road." There was an enthused murmur. "Hit up The Fox and Hound for half price drinks for Law Enforcement." And there was that promo.

  
"I'm detective Fox, call me Foxy if you're keen to learn first hand what testicular torsion feels like." A rumble from the mass, Fox paused before continuing on, rattling off. "I worked for 7 years in the military as a nurse, holding the rank of Lieutenant. I deployed to active combat zones for a total of 18 months - so I have seen my fair share of trauma. I am a Force Qualified first aid instructor so yes, this does count as your annual re-qual in CPR and third yearly re-qual in First aid. Sign the roll and I'll do your paper work. You're welcome." She clasped her hands, eyes searching the audience.

  
"So first aid. What's the algorithm we're following?"

  
A voice from the crowd "DRSABCD."

  
"Excellent!" Fox under-armed a Snickers in the direction of the voice.

  
"We don't need to suck eggs here, I'm not going to go over rectifying Dangers. Next is..."

  
There was a constant back and forth between Fox and various volunteers from the crowd as she quickly summarized the algorithm everyone had at least a passing familiarity with, adding some of her own expertise and knowledge. She discussed the difference between effective and ineffective breathing and actions on both outcomes, most people had never considered the more ambiguous in-between. 

  
"So what does ineffective breathing sound like" Fox pitched to the crowd. There was a strangled moan from the back. "That's the sound your mom makes while I'm inside of her Karpowski." Poppy replied without missing a beat provoking a collective guffaw. Her eyes cast around the assembly as she searched for more responses. 

  
After the detective had quickly recapped the acronym, she called for a volunteer to demonstrate the procedure from start to finish. It was Karpowski that stepped forward to whoops and cat calls among scattered words of encouragement. 

  
He stepped up to the mannequin and vocalized checking for dangers, glancing back and forth between the dummy and Fox as she filled in the hypothetical aspects of the situation.

  
"Okay, I'm squeezing her finger nail hard" he stated glancing up at Fox after a negative to verbal response.

  
"No response." Was all Fox stated. Karpowski mimed pulling a radio and called for a bus, emphasizing his location and the status of the casualty so far. 

  
"So I'll check the airway." The young constable spoke aloud as he placed a hand each on the upper and lower jaw, fingers prizing the mouth open by the teeth. 

  
"Airway clear." Fox informs. Karpowski carefully flattened his hand over the dolls diaphragm and stared intently at its chest. "No breathing" Fox supplied. 

  
Karpowski rose up onto his knees, placing the third finger of each hand on either end of the sternum, he measured a careful distance to the center of the chest and then commenced CPR. What the young man lacked in speed earlier he made up for in vigor now, his elbows kinked dramatically, bringing his chest almost level with the dolls on each compression. In counterpoint, his hips thrust violently back and forth between each of the blows. The rampant sounds of the mans breathing and the creaking and clicking of the dolls chest filled the silence. 

  
"Alright, and we'll call it there." Poppy interrupted, Karpowski puffed and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, face bright red. "That was..." she flattened her lips considering her options.

"Obscene." Barba supplied, hearing his sardonic words echo through the space louder than he'd intended. He couldn't quite bring himself to regret it, especially since he sparked a communal chuckle himself. 

  
"Mr Barba" Fox's eyes swiveled to him, smile broad, "Criticizing others is the fastest way to volunteer yourself. Up you come."

  
And there was the regret.

  
Exhaling slowly through his nose, Rafael did his best to muster an appropriately casual yet sufficiently authoritative tone.

  
"I really don't think that's neces-"  
  
Her head was shaking despite her indulgent smile as she made sweeping gestures with her hand, beckoning him out the front. "'course it is, even lawyers have to get their hands dirty sometimes." And now her teeth were showing. Rafael became acutely aware he was the only non-cop in the room, his skin itched with he knowledge every pair of eyes in the room now were watching to see if he'd back down.

  
Without breaking eye contact Barba striped off his blazer and handed it to Olivia, he'd forgone a waist-coat today in favor of his navy suit, grey dress shirt and navy polka-dot suspenders. Shoulders back and steady steps, he strode into the spotlight. 

  
"I'll make it easy for you counselor, lay here with your mouth shut and be the victim, I'll demo... actually, are you capable of that?" The twinkle in her eye took the sting out of her jab, she was teasing him unashamedly, distracting from his previous anxieties as he rose to her challenge. Any retort he may have had would have been drowned out by the groups laughter. He settled for an arched brow as he silently lay where she indicated, body parallel to the base of the U shaped audience, meeting her challenge with a steely gaze as she knelt at his shoulder.

  
Returning to the purpose of the gathering, Fox evaluated Karpowski's performance in a decidedly more professional manner, praising some points and critiquing others. "The pain response, for example, pressure on the nail is old school and inaccurate because its so peripheral. Remember, every second you're not doing CPR on someone that needs it you're decreasing their chances of survival. We're not here to fuck spiders, get in and get it the fuck done. What we want is either a trap squeeze" she gripped Barbas shoulder firmly between thumb and fingers causing him to jerk and push at her wrist with a startled grunt, "or a sternal rub." 

  
She leaned back over and dug her knuckles into his chest, again causing him to jerk and snatch her wrist with a pissed off "Jesus."

  
"Knew you couldn't keep it shut." She winked at him and moved rapidly on. His jaw clicked as he clenched it again, eyes narrowing he allowed his annoyance to settle into stubborn determination.

  
"These are the go to for pain response, don't do the sternal rub on an old person. Next, send for help, demonstrated well by Karpowski." She offered gesturing palm up in his direction "But never check an airway the way he did." Soft laughter. Fox held up her open thumb and index finger "pistol grip, place it on the jaw and gently open..." she trailed off as she realised Rafael was deliberately clenching his mouth closed. His eyes did his talking for him " _Knew you couldn't keep it shut_." 

  
That was okay, she could play too "Ahh, Mr Barba is helpfully demonstrating Trismus, which is when the unconscious patient clenches their jaw, and sometimes you can't fix that in the acute setting, sometimes, however," she gripped his jaw and planted her thumbs in the joint, skin prickling against his stubble "experienced first aiders can use a jaw thrust." Before she could apply meaningful pressure Rafael capitulated, part of his job was knowing when he was beat, and a larger part was being able to run his mouth and a broken jaw did not facilitate that. Poppy was smiling.

  
"Have a good look in the airway, we'll go over how to clear obstructions later, for now lets assume its clear. When checking for breathing, you want to look, listen, feel. A better position is on your knees at the tip of the shoulder, lean over the head, get a good feel of the chest" she splayed her hands wide, emphasizing the movement, she spanned her fingers wide over the lower part of his rib-cage, fingers making soft dents in the fabric as they slid to grip bodily just below his pectoral muscles. She carefully avoided tugging his suspenders, her hands small against his chest. "Bring your head down, ear over the mouth, watch the chest for rise and fall. In this position we; look, listen and feel." 

  
From his position, Barba was staring up at the soft curve of her neck where it disappeared into her shirt collar along with the silver chain he'd noticed when they first met. He was breathing in her sweet shampoo and the gentle cleanliness of soap. For once her hands weren't ice cold, they were warm and present where they lay on his chest, moving with each tentative breath he took, absorbing the steady thud of his heart. 

  
Her hands dragged up and over his shoulders as she withdrew. "For this scenario lets say he's breathing effectively, what next?" Somewhere in the crowd someone supplied 'The Recovery Position' and Fox threw yet another individually wrapped sweet in their direction while knee-walking her way around him to face the audience. She vocalized the steps as she man-handled him into position, leaning over his mass again to place his arm perpendicular to his body, slapping the other arm across his chest, firmly gripping behind his knee "support the neck" he felt her fingers firm at the base of his head "and roll" she said as she pushed him smoothly onto his side, his head pillowed on his arm. 

  
He remained in that position while Fox instructed everyone to pair up and run through it individually, not moving until gave his bicep a brief squeeze and said he could practice on her. Silently he rolled over and came to rest on his knees opposite her, their position mirrored. He did nothing but stare silently into her eyes, watching her brow furrow in confusion before her eyes rolled heavily. She fought a smile "okay counselor, so you can keep your mouth shut." Her eyes twinkled and she raised both her hands dramatically breaking eye contact as she submitted "I was wrong."

  
Satisfied with her apology, and genuinely eager to practice the skills she had outline Rafael dropped the issue quickly, instead directing her to "Lie down." 

  
She went easily, and he shuffled over to her side. The room was loud with chatter, instead of raising his voice to shout over it he dropped his tone low, allowing her to hone in on his voice alone, it was almost silky in quality. "Assessing for dangers" he murmured, watching only her face, her gaze was carefully kept on the ceiling. 

  
"No dangers." She licked her lips in a flash, eyes flicking between two points on roof, glistening in the light. He noted her breathing was rather shallow.

  
"Can you hear me? Open your eyes. Squeeze my hand." He rumbled close, placing his large hand in hers. Fox remained silent, unmoving. Following the algorithm, he gripped the muscle of her shoulder giving it a perfunctory squeeze.

  
"It's not a caress, counselor," she bitched, "it's a - ah, yes! Good." She enthused. 

  
Barba took her praise silently, choosing instead to vocalize a call for help. That done, he wrapped his thumb and index finger around her jaw, the length of his fingers covering the full curve of her face. The webbing of his fingers stretching just below her generous lower lip. 

  
Airway deemed clear, he re-positioned as she'd instructed so he knelt diagonally at her shoulder. He needn't lean far over her smaller frame to reach the base of her chest. He placed his hands lightly, mindful of where not to touch, he slid his grip upward slightly until his broad hands covered the breadth of her lower chest. Bending close, he felt the puff of her breaths against his skin as he watched her chest expand and relax, heard her swallow.

  
He smelled strong and fresh and masculine and it swamped Poppy's senses. The warmth of his palms seemed to throb through her entire body. Fox forced herself to relax, to take normal, measured breaths, to not let on the effects of his touch. He lingered long enough for her to wonder if he was teasing, but not long enough for her to be sure either way. 

  
He rolled her onto her side quickly and with surprising ease, tugging briefly at the belt where it wrapped around her back. Kneeling behind her, tone still that same silky rumble, he teased her one last time. 

  
"Nice belt."


	8. Criminal Hatred - 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fox gives Barba some advise.

All in all the session was quite the success and Barba had to admit to himself that, despite his initial reluctance to participate, he had actually learned a great deal and even enjoyed the hands on process. Fox was clearly very knowledgeable and her no bull-shit, here's-what-you-need-to-know practical approach was highly engaging. They had run through several scenarios, switching between listening to Fox speak about a topic and then practicing it on their partner. Rafael was grateful he was paired with Poppy, not only because he gleaned what he could sense was the tip of the iceberg of her wealth of tips and techniques, but also because she conducted herself in such a clear and present manner it kept him grounded to the procedure they were practicing instead of fixating on the events of the previous week. He couldn't tell if it was by accident or design and instead of that bothering him he found contentment in his gratitude. 

Everything wrapped up after about an hour, the room was again rumbling with conversation as people meandered to the door, occasionally stopping to sign the roll and chatting happily amongst themselves. The squad were headed to The Fox and Hound and the sense was so was the majority of the group. Poppy knelt on the blue mats, attention divided between chatting with muscle man, whose name was "Richard, call me Rick," who had approached her again at the session completion, and efficiently slotting away the resus doll into its case and repacking the various medical supplies she had used to demo back into their box. 

Barba felt his mood sour very slightly as he heard the pair laughing again, wondering what could possibly be so funny, but made a concerted effort push those feelings aside as he rejoined Olivia and the rest of the detectives. It was Friday afternoon, he'd just enjoyed a stimulating and fun hour, everyone seemed to be in a good mood and he was not going to let some minor irritation, that he wasn't even sure of the _source_ of, detract from that. 

They made their way out of the den, all the while hearing Fox and the hulk chattering away behind them. Rafael shrugged his coat on as they hit street level, the daylight was teetering in its final moments of orange glory, preparing to wane and wane fast. People were congregating at the curb, the size of the huddle rapidly depleting as small groups ducked into the taxis pulling up. Fin claimed one with a hand on the bonnet as he circled around to the front passenger seat, Amaro and Rollins made a beeline for the back as Olivia glanced over her shoulder at Barba. She cast her eye around for someone to fill her seat so that she could wait for the next taxi with him, but the only two remaining people had just entered the last empty taxi, leaving only herself, Barba, Fox and Rick and only three seats to spare. 

Rick and Fox were still chuckling loudly among their chatting, Rick opened his arm and gestured toward the more empty cab as they approached, hand hovering at the small of her back saying "after you."

Poppy made a very slight sidestep out of the course he had her directed on, mood still jovial as she sated "No thanks, I'll walk with the Counsellor." Her cheeks were slightly flushed in the chill of the evening air, her eyes flicked to his as she made her way toward him. Barba had been making gestures to the like of 'its fine' anyway at Olivia, but only with Fox's declaration did she seem satisfied she wasn't abandoning him. She fell back into the cab seat and the vehicle swiftly pulled away from the curb, leaving only one waiting taxi, door still cocked open. 

"Well you two take this one and I'll walk, or we could call for another." Ricks eyes were wide and a smile seemed to take up permanent residence on his face. He seemed like a nice guy, he was probably a nice guy - Barba didn't like him. 

"No it's fine." Poppy stated, now standing by Rafael's side and waving her arm in a casual manner. "You take that one, and we'll be there in a few minutes." Her mood remained jovial but her tone had a casual authority to it as she issued clear direction. Rick seemed to follow it without a second thought, climbing straight in throwing a 'see you there' over his shoulder as the door swung closed. With all her quiet observation and excessively polite proclivities, Barba hadn't previously noticed this ability she had and it was the first time it was truly realised to Barba that Fox came from a position of command. She glanced up at him from the side of her eye, head shaking minutely as she chuckled softly "It's really not that far." She began moving off in the direction the taxis had taken and he followed.

"Thanks for the company." He said as he walked beside her. He hadn't missed how she'd made an effort to be with him, neither covert or overt, she had been a steady presence throughout. The way she had just done so, without show or comment, without over-caution or over-action, just a practical, palpable act of support was beginning to delineate to him exactly what kind of person she was. 

The pavement crunched beneath their feet and their breath made whispy puffs of fog. The pathway narrowed slightly, shunting him slightly behind her as they navigated between the side of a building and the road up a small incline. His attention was drawn again to her waist. "I haven't been able to wear a belt since." He found himself admitting, eyes distant as he became level with her again. Her face didn't change, no twist of pity, no pang of awkwardness, just a steady, open, inviting look. He'd shocked himself with his sudden, uncensored confession and if her silence was to encourage him to fill it he was determined not to. He heard her inhale softly through her nose before she returned her attention forward.

"That's okay," she said calmly. "I prefer the suspenders." Her tone was breezy and unexpected, drawing a soft huff and smile from him, he looked over to see mirth in her eye and a restrained smile as she put up a half hearted serious façade. 

"Is that why you stole my belt?" He prodded the ghost of a smile still on his lips.

"Stole!" She repeated, flicking her eyes back to him indignant as they crossed a road. "I have clear recollection of you giving me this, counsellor."

"Mm." He hummed, "well it looks better on you than me so, I suppose I can live with it." Despite the good mood their banter was withdrawn, his because of the feelings he couldn't shake and hers because despite her nonchalance she understood. 

Quiet moments passed as they continued on beside a park, traffic hummed around them and the sounds of children playing echoed from the green. Street lights were beginning to flick on and the evening air was starting to feel thicker with night. The silence felt patient, and when Poppy chose to break it it didn't feel practiced or rehearsed, only considered. "What happened to Minnona was sudden and violent, normal people aren't used to seeing that. It was visceral and unexpected, shocking and yes, traumatizing and your brain can't just gloss over that, it's not able to process it like an everyday ordinary thing because its not." She was making sense, he knew that, and her repeated affirmation it was normal brought him so much more comfort than he would have thought. 

It should have sounded preachy but she continued on in that same placid tone and all he could sense was calm sincerity. "I'm quite passionate about PTSD and mental health. Our brains are a combination of nature but mostly nurture, the taboo and stigma of PTSD stem from an arbitrary, knee jerk condemnation of what is and is not _perceived_ as 'normal' and its ridiculous and unhelpful. Being preoccupied with what happened one week after it happened is okay, and if its still bothering you in another weeks time we should talk about it and maybe use some tools to work through it. Don't focus on how you think you should feel about it or on shoving those feeling away, allow yourself your emotions to help you process it."

"Is that why you're wearing the belt?" He was beginning to understand.

"I'm wearing the belt because I used to try to manage things the way you are now and I've learned the hard way it's not healthy, effective or necessary." They were rapidly approaching the bar and Rafael's mind was swirling with thought, but mostly he felt a warm reassurance settling in his belly. He looked pensive and Fox allowed the quiet to float back in around them. It was a matter of minutes before they reached the door to The Fox and Hound, Barba reached for the door, however his hand paused momentarily on the handle. He looked at her meaningfully and nodded, just once and just slightly. Poppy simply smiled and entered as he pulled open the door, knowing to some but not the full extent of how her words had calmed the turmoil inside him.


End file.
